Is this where it begins? Shock? Trauma? Separation?
We are all thrust into life at birth. Or more often these days, we are wrenched from the womb by c-section into the rubber-gloved hands of the awaiting medical team. This has been the "normal" process of birthing for decades (maybe a century or more?I). Complications in the birthing process, of course, can compound the trauma and the physical and emotional toll on both mother and child.
For the most part, however, we think of birth in terms of the mother's labor pains (on a scale of one to ten or more!). The infant, still a fetus, is more or less a passive presence. A blank slate (cognitively and emotionally) about to take it's first breath at which time we cry out, "Life has begun!" The mother's agony ends. The infant is reunited with the mother to suckle at the breast or the bottle and then swaddled and readied to be received jubilantly into the loving family home.
Is this where the shock, trauma, and separation are remedied?
Perhaps somewhat. But focus turns quickly to the labels that can accompany a new born: good baby, fussy baby, happy baby, colicky baby, and so on. Love pours through the frustration, exhaustion, and all-encompassing responsibility of a new life. Mother and child gaze lovingly at one another. The baby begins to feel safe and confident that meals will come regularly and chaffing diapers will be replaced. Waking and sleeping cycles regulate as infant and family adjust and the traumatic experience of birth gradually fades away.
Or perhaps that's how it should be. Post-partum depression, emotional stress on the family unit, life's demands can exacerbate the original trauma. When this happens focus turns outward from the infant. Family members find them selves siloed, isolated from one another in guilt, blame, or failure.
But life has a way of righting itself, and blank-slate infants mature at a rapid pace (at least in terms of brain development) as life swirls around them. And suddenly the infant becomes a "person" that must learn to differentiate right from wrong, immediate gratification from patience, yes from no, niceness from naughtiness. Believed to be essential learning for successful human development (cognitive, moral, psychosocial), and as attested to by the most notable child psychologists of the twentieth century (Piaget, Kohlberg, and Erikson), the bottom line is that the precious infant must be civilized! Without this learning the outcome can be life-long psychological harm. For example, without proper learning of autonomy (self-reliance), shame and doubt can dominate. Without knowing the rules of initiative (self-motivation), inertia and an underlying sense of guilt can prevail.
Are these the only paradigms of birth and human development we have?
They are not the only paradigms. Yet they are still the predominant ones for the general populace, the medical establishment, religious institutions, government organizations, schools, and psychological associations. Even anti-abortion advocates see the child as less than human until after birth. Life may begin at conception, as they say, but not so consciousness, sentience, cognition, memory, and the ability to experience and hold profound emotions.
There are abundant resources on changing paradigms of how new life comes into being --life-before-life, conception, fetal development, birth, consciousness, and the absolute sentience of the newborn. In fact, studies and first-hand accounts date from at least the last half-century.
For an overview of new perspectives and understanding of birth trauma, in-utero experience and memory, fetal sentience, communicating with the unborn and pre-verbal child, and how we can use new paradigms to welcome the newborn child into this world "on their terms., please click here to see my webpage : BIRTH OF THE SENTIENT CHILD.
Thrust into Life